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Question:

I am ready to leave my job however, my husband was laid off 3.5 months ago. He has an MBA and was the breadwinner so I’m now supporting the family – but feel like I’m losing the fire inside me while staying in a stagnant role. How do I maintain who I am through this, both professionally and personally? Supporting my husband, financially and emotionally? Staying engaged in a job I”m losing interest in? Not losing myself in the process?

Robyn Says:

Ohh lady boss this is tough. This isn’t as easy as saying, “if it doesn’t bring you joy – let it go”. You have responsibilities. You aren’t 23 (I think). You need to keep an income unless you have a secret trust fund.

Follow this prescription and call me in a month:

  1. Hunker down at work for another 4 weeks. This will give you time to complete step 4.
  2. Prioritize the things that make you feel satisfied and nourished outside of the workplace. Maybe this is grabbing mani/pedis on the reg – or attending that boutique spin class more often. Reframe your mind that your job isn’t the single source for your happiness. You’re taking care of a lot right now, which means self care should be prioritized as such.
  3. Also, complain. Complain a lot. Vent it out. Let out the negative – but only on your most trusted friendships. Try to avoid offloading it all on your husband. You need to ensure you don’t openly resent his situation much (ex: “Ugg I have to stay in my job because YOU got laid off!”). That’s going to lead to marriage problems. Another good place to find similar souls & support is on the Ladies Get Paid Slack channel.
  4. Get your shit together and find your fire. Update your resume, chase the jobs that interest you. Take time to figure out what you want to do next and where. Sure, it’s obvious you’re giving your husband “first dibs” for what’s next – but it’s 2017 and thanks to Sheryl Sandberg – hopefully you have a “50/50 partnership” with your man. Who knows if you might just stumble into your “dream job” before he finds what’s next.

Get after it girl! Let us know how it goes.

Robyn Birkedal

Robyn Birkedal

I’m Robyn, a Portland, OR based digital project manager. I’ve been in the industry for the past 10 years and have produced a wide swath of digital efforts including websites, product UX/UI, digital experiences, social, and even a national broadcast spot. I hate bitmojis and pickled herring. I love memes and charcuterie. Outside of that, I’m a mom and probably the world’s most lazy crossfitter.

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